Monday, October 29, 2012

Episode 8: The Switch

Episode 8: The Switch
Original Airdate: April 21, 1990
Written By: Michael Taav, Richard Tuggle
Directed By: Arnold Schwarzenegger 
Starring: William Hickey, Rick Rossovich, Kelly Preston, Ian Abercrombie, Roy Brocksmith

To what lengths would you go for love? Not money, power, greed, or glory, mind you, but love? For Carlton Webster (William Hickey), a wealthy geriatric living through his remaining years, he would do almost anything he had to do. Carlton is completely and totally in love with a young woman named Linda (Kelly Preston) and seems fully intent on bringing her youthful exuberance into his home with a marriage vow. Though his butler Fulton (Ian Abercrombie) warns that she may only be out for his money, Carlton has no intention of advertising just how wealthy he is, or how he will only marry her if it is true love.
When Carlton visits Linda with said proposal on the table, he deflects the value of his property and is instead scorned by Linda's all-too-obvious refrain: you look too old. In denial of his current predicament (and perhaps science and logic as well), Carlton intends to visit a plastic surgeon to remove as much of his age as is possible. But he become dissatisfied with the lack of immediate gratification he would get and pursues other options to completely rebuild his face for the youth Linda so desires. And he'll go to any lengths to capture that glory.

"Life is cheap, doctor. But youth, youth is very, very precious." -Carlton Webster

Carlton eventually finds himself a mad doctor (Roy Brocksmith) willing to perform a controversial operation wherein he will receive the face of a young man named Hans (Rick Rossovich) for a nominal fee of one million dollars. Recognizing that the overall sum could bankrupt him, Carlton is blinded by his lust and proceeds with the front to science, nature, and general decency. Thinking he has succeeded, Carlton visits Linda once more with his new features, but only stands to horrify her further thanks to his intermediate changes.
Carlton's return to the doctor's laboratory finds him even deeper in debt as he requests a new torso and an upgrade on his face. Surgery continues to be a flowing success as the doc and Hans milk the old man for all he's got whilst Carlton continues to upgrade his youth, so to speak. Now, his entire upper half is that of the ripped Hans he met earlier, and all it cost him was $3 million cash. Things with Linda begin to turn around when Carlton takes her out for weightlifting and a walk on the beach. Unfortunately, since he only covered the top half, Linda finds herself further repulsed when things get hot and heavy. 

"But your face, it's so different and bizarre, and your body is still old and decrepit." -Linda

Arnold Schwarzenegger became the first full-fledged celebrity to step behind the camera and direct an episode of Tales from the Crypt, and it feels as if he couldn't have been pegged for a better interpretation. "The Swtich" delves into a warped world where beauty equals power and money can be had from anyone willing to sell from their own devices. It isn't short on sympathetic characters or morality plays; quite the contrary, in fact.

You find yourself feeling for the lead's desperate and blinding love all around him. He'd do anything for his beloved, making William Hickey a more than appropriate fit for the role. The man reeks of sorrow and the inclusion of an almost disconnected Kelly Preston adds to the calamity. At the time of filming, Tales from the Crypt had taken off after an impressive first run to levels that made HBO quite a profit. Bringing in Schwarzenegger may have felt like a money gouge, but he did a more than serviceable job with an intriguing and almost ironic plot.

"Love conquers all." -Carlton Webster

The dark spiral continues from here on out. Carlton's continued pursuit of Linda leads him to spend more and more of his database away in an effort to make himself look and feel young. As cryptically predicted by the mad doctor just scenes earlier, the parts continue to come from Hans whilst Carlton transforms into a completely different person...on the outside. Is love as blind as Carlton Webster assumes it to be?

Linda has other ideas. His lower body becomes unsatisfactory. Then, his manhood itself is called into question. The pressure never seems to mount high enough for Carlton to think twice about his continued existence, leaving his butler Fulton to leave him after the pool he pulled his salary from runs towards a shallow demise. As the doctor continues to take from Carlton Webster, Carlton Webster continues to believe he's growing into the reflection of perfection for Linda.

"Love can also be blind, sir. I just pray you're not the only one it conquers." -Fulton

The final minutes of the episode play out like a typical cat and mouse affair. Carlton is persistent, cunning, and untamed in his quest towards the lovely Linda's heart. But with each passing hour and day, he's slipping further and further away from the reality of the situation. Carlton loses his grasp on all of reality and falls madly into a stuper that, by the time he's free to break out, he's made a grave set of decisions that there is no going back from.

When he proposes to Linda one final time, he must come to grips with the idea that her aspirations and desires have made a drastic change towards a man with financial stability and valor. That man appears to be the old Carlton, except he's introduced as Hans, and we're left to watch in horror as our fledgling romance goes down the tubes once and for all.

"You're nice, Carlton. But I needed a man of financial means who could make me comfortable for the rest of my life." -Linda


Parallels to the EC Source Material: 
"The Switch" was originally published in the EC Comics release Tales from the Crypt #45 (though it was a story from The Witch's Cauldron). And, not just to make this section shorter, but the whole story is identical to the original. The perfect companion!



Horror Alumni Roll Call: 
-William Hickey (Carlton Webster) portrayed various characters in four decades of film and television outside the Crypt. He appeared in both the Tales from the Darkside movie and television show as well as the film Puppet Master. Late in his career, he appeared in The Outer Limits, The Nightmare Before Christmas, and posthumously in Knocking on Death's Door. He is, however, best known for his role in Wings as another Carlton: Carlton Blanchard.

-Rick Rossovich (Hans) used his good looks to land roles in The Terminator and Spellbinder prior to his appearance in this episode. Later, he made appearances in horror/sci-fi mash-ups like Future Shock and the straight horror picture The Evil Inside Me.

-Kelly Preston (Linda) caught one of her first big breaks in the Stephen King adaptation of Christine. She had a cameo appearance in the cult classic From Dusk Till Dawn and would later appear in her husband's (John Travolta) work of Scientology science fiction, Battlefield Earth.

-Roy Brocksmith (Doctor) is making his second appearance on this list in as many seasons. He was known for appearing in both Arachanophobia and Total Recall. He also did episodes of Star Trek, Red Dwarf, and the children's anthology program, Eerie, Indiana before his death in 2001.

-Ian Abercrombie (Fulton) had hundreds of acting roles before his death, but horror fans remember him most for his part in Army of Darkness. He was also apart of Battlestar Galactica, Alfred Hitchcock Presents, Catacombs, Puppet Master III: Toulon's Revenge, Addams Family Values, Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman, Star Trek: Voyager, Babylon 5, Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction, The Lost World: Jurassic Park, and Star Wars: The Clone Wars television show, just to name a few projects.

-Renata Scott (Female Patient) was in one episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation and the film Stepfather II

-Mark Pellegrino (Punk) found a lot of minor horror work along the way, including an episode of The X-Files and the films The Lost World: Jurassic Park as well as The Number 23 and Fear Itself. He is probably best known, however, for playing Lucifer in the show Supernatural.

-Kendall McCarthy (Doorman) was also apart of the cast of Ice Cream Man with Clint Howard.

-Peter Kent (Muscle Beach Trainer) was good friends with Arnold Schwarzenegger, thus landing him roles in nearly every Arnold movie (which is too many to list). He was also in Ragewar, Re-Animator, Dead Heat, and various made for TV horror pictures.

-J. Patrick McNamara (Dr. Thorne) was notable for having made it big over a decade before Tales with his appearance in Close Encounters of the Third Kind. He was also in The Fury, Phantasm II, and an episode of the spinoff Freddy's Nightmares

-Arnold Schwarzenegger (Director) is a household name and doesn't need much of an introduction. To list his contributions to action and Sci-Fi would be a paltry catering to your needs, so just know that he made the apocalyptic thriller End of Days.

Number of puns delivered by the Cryptkeeper: Two (though Arnold jumps in with a few as well)

In Summation: What "The Switch" lacks, if anything, is true horror and terror. The story is about normal people driven to extreme and irreverent means to get what they want. And of course, in true Tales/EC style, they find a complete irony of their situation when things go awry. Love is as blind as Ray Charles. Anyone who tells you otherwise is selling something.

-Benjamin M. Benya

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